Its been a long time that the thought of a piece of perfect writing craved in me. I never understood how to create a piece of writing with the emotions that filled my heart. It maybe deep or shallow but the only thing that I wanted to do is just keep the water flowing but I ceased it myself and gradually things changed. I thought change is normal because change is nature but it took me time to realize that I was witnessing the change of loosing my self realization.
Realization comes at every step. Each one of them makes a new me, I mirror myself stronger and more mature.
I don’t need words, I don’t need language, I don’t need medium, all I need is my enthusiasm, my enthusiasm can gather audience, my performance can sell arenas. I don’t need to work hard, I don’t need to hustle.
I thought I was much busy into surviving. I thought I had responsibilities and so I took myself to cloud nine and consoled myself, “ baby you’re doing great” until I came across another person who was doing miles and miles better than me and was carrying a heap of responsibilities over his head; I felt someone just grabbed my leg and pulled me down roughly on the ground. I acknowledged, I did nothing, not even 1% what he does. The hard work, the enthusiasm, the irresistible will; everything touched sky high and I’m not even a tall tree on land.
In the early 15th year of my existence, I met him on the diner table where he spoke to me without words; I was a bad interpreter but certainly not that time when his eyes glazed in the warmth of comfort. Little feelings started to dance tango in my heart but I was quite aware of the fact that I lived a thousand kilometers away from him.
Hoping distance would affect our newly danced feelings, we made a little more distance between us; but stubborn feelings.
Distance only made our heart grow fonder.
As all crest troughs, I was learned that beloved was already in a relationship which had no danced feelings. He was preparing for divorce and I was not aware.
It did push me from the thirteenth floor, I had less of words and more of tears to express. As of normal break-ups, I thought of ending this drama.
After few days of heartbreak, swollen eyes and sunken pillows my brain was too tired to think of any bad consequences and switched into a Low Battery mode. Six long hours of sleep brought no change to my cause of sorrow but it surely did clear the pollution from the grey matter. The days spent with him in fact every moment, never did I regret those because I was actually happy, satisfied and comfortable with him and to that it my duty to care for him and when I went in deep care I came across that my beloved was going through same problem I was going through; both were trying to get out of jumbled problems. Except for the fact that his problems were few times more than mine and I was weeping at my situation seeking for a shoulder to cry whereas it was he who needed a pole to stand .
In the world of individuality, I chose to hold his hand, no matter whatever happens.If everyone turns away their head, only the own ones stay; I’m not that coward that I’ll leave a person to rot in a bad situation.
I was hurt; definitely but he was my only comfort zone, my satisfaction and a healer to all my pains and the best thing about pain is it demands to be felt.
I accepted him with all his dark sides and problems gladly and it gave me one of the best results I could’ve ever imagined; he never complained, he never left a stone unturned to make me feel comfortable, he held my hand and we started walking with least expectations from life and with a transparent support for lifetime.
There were less demands and less complaints but our danced feelings existed and it would hardly change.He knows I pray for him every night and I know he’s there to protect me.
Our step towards acceptance only made our relationship more fresh with every new sunshine. And it would never end.
You can take away him, his costume from me but how can you take the soul away. After all love is in the air.